I actually did it.
In 2009, my sister told me to write down 100 characteristics that my ideal mate would possess and I actually did it. Some were non-negotiable like “3. Pays tithes” while others were frivolous like “78. Wears tennis shoes.” Though it seemed like an impossible task it really wasn’t hard coming up with 100 things. I just had to realize that a few (or a little more than a few) were simply preferences, not a make or break, like “92. can beat me at Scrabble.”
As the years passed, I decided to become the person my ideal mate would be, or at least as close to them as possible, because someone that “16. liked to workout” would probably want to be with someone that liked to workout. To the gym I went. And someone that “8. prayed often” would probably want to be with someone that prayed often. On my knees I prayed. I wasn’t becoming them for the sole purpose of attracting them, but I was becoming them because they would ideally possess all the characteristics that I considered to be the best. So if I wanted “the best,” I figured I should pursue becoming “the best.”
3 years later “the best” found me.
Tears come to my eyes as I think about the faithfulness and perfect timing of God. God proved that not only is He able to give me the desires of my heart, but He is also able to make me who I need to be, in order to receive His blessings. While in constant pursuit of becoming the best I can be, I became less concerned about receiving validation from others. I turned my attention away from being found and toward finding myself. I saw my insecurities. I saw my inconsistencies. I made a note of my strengths and determined to do better. Then, out of the clear blue, in front of me stood “the best.”
I couldn’t check off my list of 100 things immediately, because many of them had to be proven over time. However, you know what they say, when you know...you know. I am still in the process of being pruned and developed, but I see now more than ever that when you put God first He will take care of the rest. Even “the best” man will never be able to complete you the way God can. Once you submit to that, being found will become the least of your worries. Don’t settle. Don’t give up. Seek to become all God has called YOU to be and watch Him work! So what’s on your list of 100?
- B. Landi
Matthew 6:33
Luke 12: 30-32
Great blog! Inspired by you, I wrote my list of 100 things sometime last year, I think. Back then it made me further realize that who I had previously been spending time with was, without question, not what I needed or was even looking for. Writing down all of those things in some ways helped me move on by shining the high-beams on the obvious that I was ignoring for the sake of not being lonely. My plan with this list was to never look at it again, until I met someone I guess. So I really haven't looked at since. But what you said makes perfect sense. Do I even meet the criteria of my own list? Probably not as much as I should. So, I guess I need to pull that baby out, read it and "become the change I want to see". Thanks, B. Landi, for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWOW this is great Zebrin2003! YES let's be the change...:)
DeleteAwesome!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading :)
DeleteThis was truly an awesomely bless reminder of my list from 3 or 4 years ago and how I too wanted to make sure I was who was on the list. If I wanted God to bless me with his best, then I too must be counted in that number. Aside from that, I didn't want my future husband to say to God "that woman you gave me" like Adam lol. So I set out to learn how to be a good thing so the man for me was/is worthy of the favor that comes along with me. Although my list was only the nonegotiables, it's still important to work self.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. So many times we focus on others, but, even in non-romantic relationships, we should first be willing to change ourselves before changing or perfecting others. :)
DeleteI'm sharing with everyone I know! You're such an inspiration - praise God!
ReplyDeleteand you to me love :)
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